Finding The Passion

I have been fighting a lack of passion that has been flowing through my blood for a brief period. I have felt as if my gas tank is on empty and no matter what I accomplish off the endless task list or how I try to pamper myself to find self-contentment, the tank remains bone dry.

I am just a single human trying to accomplish the tasks of many. Sometimes I feel like my list accomplishes nothing even when complete yet I still feel this great desire and need to finish before I move on. My priority should be my God but lately I haven't felt that I have been putting Him first. The enemy uses simple subtleties to distract us from what's important in life. For me, my interferences I allow are as simple as filling up my days with "to-dos." And because I welcome these task, my free time rarely exists.

It has been very difficult for me to grasp the concept of limited control. Even growing up, my pops would comment on my continuous idea that I was always right or that I was in charged. I remember it so clearly, "Ya, I know Lauren, you're always right." or "I am the father. You are the daughter." It  makes me chuckle as I become more mature and realize how little I knew. Dad, you were right! (Bet you never thought you'd hear me say that.) As time matures, I still find myself fighting this mindset. The Lord is good at bringing truth to all circumstances.

My Lord steps in and shows me that today cannot be complete without Him. A few nights ago I meet with a group of beautiful woman each having their own story. Together we joined for a night of worship to fellowship with one another and spend time with our King. His presence filled the room as He made Himself known to many.  He renewed my heart and reminded me of the reasons for life on this world. My soul became refreshed as His Spirit poured on me. I was in need of tending and mending that only He could and can bring.

Still today I struggle with the concept that I am not in control and my whole world won’t fall apart if I don’t get through my lists. I am slowly learning though that there are other priorities in life like my God, my husband, my family and my friends. The to-do items can wait. They will always be there. Instead, I want to live for today and live for my God. I want to spend my time with those I love and completing His work so that when it is time to leave this earth I will have made the most of the days of my life and have no regrets.